I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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