3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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