so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.