I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize