I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
