I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize