You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
