He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize