maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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