fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Randomize
