Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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