Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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