now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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