I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
wow bdsm is so cute
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