This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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