Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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