Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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