he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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