Is it normal to miss your booty call?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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