well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
