David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
The uberlube is also flammable
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Randomize
