Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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