Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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