Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
