He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
