Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
