Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
