is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
