Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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