that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Dear god my vagina.
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