you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
