I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
A+ Viking dick
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize