Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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