my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
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don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
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A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
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