Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
