Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
