She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
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This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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