the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
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