And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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