My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
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