i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
P.S. I can't hear my feet
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize