Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
