I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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