just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
