just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
