Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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