just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
