it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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