Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
there is puke in my bra ... again
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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