What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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