party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
My bed smells like the plague
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
