Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
