Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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