pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
