If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
