i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Sorry my hands just texted you
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I would ride that face into the sunset
I touched a dick in church today
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
