He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
