how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
