I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize