I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize