What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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