You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
