y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
