The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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