Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
