Walk of Shame. In a state park.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
