just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
