It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize