This girl is more easily done than said...
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
