he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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