he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize