am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I think I am morally bankrupt
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
