I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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