Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I feel like abortions should bother me more
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize