can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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