Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
